Monday, February 28, 2011
Loss
I've been thinking about loss in my life a little today. The other day I was talking to two of my friends, both who have experienced a miscarriage. One was saying that her mom could never understand because she had never had a miscarriage (the other's mom had). Talk about feeling a bit guilty, as I sat their with my perfectly healthy baby who has never had so much as a cold in his 10 short weeks. Although I've never had a miscarriage, I do know that I'd be destroyed if anything happened to my baby. I thought of any death I've had in my life; I lost my grandpa and my cousin that I barely knew. But I realized that the biggest loss in my life happened on a day when a pretty big part of me died. I'm not the same person. I don't remember much, I'm a BIT more touchy, and my motor skills are as good as a inebriated person. I swear I'm an understanding person! But maybe its just something I could never imagine. Maybe its something I feel like I get but really have no idea how tough it is to actually go through. Maybe if I was sitting here passing time in my loney life I'd get it more than if I was waiting for the next time to feed my perfect little boy.
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I know what you are saying- Sometimes after the huge trauma you have been through - other peoples' "small" problems seem to not be as big of a deal. My husband, too has had a traumatic brain injury at 44- five years ago. We have three kids-now 18,17, and 14- to raise and he is not the same person. He has profound short term memory loss. Many times friends will not want to tell me their problems or struggles as they are embarassed that they cant compare to what our family has been through. You have to be careful not to trivialize their problems. I think that it is all relative. I have had friends literally undone by their child getting tubes in their ears. I get that that is scary and traumatizing because it is real to them. You are doing such an amazing job. You inspire me- Please keep up the blogging.
Part #1 Hi Breanna,I was very touched by your story I couldn't stop reading it My daughter Kayla is going through almost the same thing.we were in an automobile accident Oct 31st. 2000 4x4 monster
Part #2- truck,ran right over the top of us. my daughter was only 8 years old,she had to learn everything all over again.she has TBI and was on life support in a comma for 3 months,we were told by these so called professional Doctor that I should consider pulling the plug,because they feel I have prolonged the situation and that I was in denial, that my daughter is brain dead...Well being the person I am I would not listen because I
Part#3--was talking to her while she was in the coma and I said honey if your able to hear me move your left leg of something,well guess what her leg switched...Oh but the doctors said it a nerve that caused that...hummm sure it was thats why it only does it when I ask her to do it.Of course now I'm really in denial and seeing things.How wrong they were.Yep you guessed it she woke,that was one of the happiest day's of my life,although it was the worst day of her's and there after,to make a very long story shorter,my daughter experiences almost everything you do.She is 18 now Life to her just seems like it's getting worse at time's.People out there have no clue unless they can actually share the same kind of story.You have made a wonderful web page.My daughter has proved all Dr's wrong she can walk talk eat and etc. But Memory is a challenge every day she tell's me it's sometimes like the movie 50 first dates.She is a
Part#4--senior in High school and I'm counting the day she graduate's it's been a long haul for her,teacher suck lol.She don't like people especially at school,if I had a dollar for every out burst she caused due to stupid people,Id be a milliner. All schools and teacher should have books in there room and office about brain Injury's.Kid's are hateful and so are teacher's they treat her like she's a problem to everyone.Do you have temper out breaks sometimes for no reason at all? Well one minute she's laughing and having a blast then all of a sudden either someone said something wrong or looked at her wrong and she just flips.So needless to say she was diagnosed with anxiety and Bipolar.Sure why not add gas to the fire.Looking at my daughter you'd never guess she was disabled,but every cover of a book looks different then the story sounds when reading it.She is now in a battle to keep her SSI check for some reason they think just because she is 18,graduating high school,and engaged to be married that her disability went away just the 1 hour they met her.I have even explained that she is in the lowest ESE classes in school and only graduating with a stander diploma
Part#5--and no credits,but they think she can do all sorts of jobs,how do they think this when even the schools just pushed her threw?When she is talking to you and someone interups her she ends up telling the story from the beginning if she don't forget what she was saying in the first place.I feel for her and I'm always there to pick her back up but I just wish that everyone else wasn't so selfish to not pay attention to her when she try's to explain something to them.So you basically know what I'm saying I can sit here all night and just write but I won't torcher you no more lol.I just wanna to thank you for sharing your story with us,I found your page because I was searching (Does someone with a brain injury have a lesser chance of getting pregnant?) So reading your story and seeing you have a baby Congrats by the way helped answer that question a little.My daughter and soon to be hubby want a baby and people are saying that more then likely it wont happen due to her brain Injury,she has been so sad and scarred that she might not ever be a mommy.I told her to just prove them all wrong like she has every since the accented.:) so thanks for the hope maybe now she can relax until we know for sure when we go for her MRI.God Bless and keep up with your blogging it inspires many it did me.Thank you so much.E-mail me if you like mariannesmithlovering@yahoo.com or find me on face book Marianne Smith-lovering also my daughter Kayla M Lovering.
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