Oh the life of the Brain Injured...

So it would appear that I am pregnant. Being pregnant and having had a head injury really is an interesting combination. It only gets more complicated because of my desire to be seen as capable and "just fine." I guess it depends on the situation... some times I want people to feel bad for me! But usually I want people to realize I can do everything x100. Apparently lots of people asked my Mom (behind my back) if I can even have kids. All those people who wondered if I can even have children, well they don't deserve to know and I don't even want them in my babies (boy!) life. I really feel like its a knock on my intelligence when people ask about if I can have kids. I feel like before I really learned brain injuries, thats all I could have thought. Your brain gets hurt, and that affects only your intelligence, right? And all those people out there who want to tell me that that is not what people are thinking and that I shouldn't be offended, then you get kicked in the head by a horse and then get knocked up and then you can tell me how to feel about it.

Also, this baby was "unplanned." Not that my husband and I aren't so very thrilled in every way. My mom, who told anyone who wanted to know that all 3 of her children (including me) was unplanned, told me that I shouldn't tell people it was unexpected. As if maybe I should be offended that I was an unplanned child? This all goes back to the not feeling bad for me thing. I was not moping around for my 4 married years counting the days and paying for fertility treatments, like I don't want people to think. I want people to know that I am totally getting everything I want out of life. People (who already wonder if I can have children) don't need to be thinking "oh, that poor girl, for 4 years she was trying to have a baby but couldn't all because some horse kicked her in the head." So this is me telling you that I really scored as far as getting pregnant goes, no pun intended but it is pretty funny. There was really no effort at all. So I guess I'm saying that I shouldn't feel bad for anyone out there who's having a tough time getting pregnant? maybe that horse really did affect my ability to be logical?

Ok, now that I've vented about that. Yay! I'm having a baby! And I am completely capable of raising it (the fortune cookie at the Mongolian Grill I got the other day told me I'll be a great parent) , and I'm the luckiest girl in the world I think. As I sit here I get to feel my little buddy squirming in my tummy (he doesn't stop) and I also get to feel a serious ache in my right rib (apparently my insides are getting shoved around and its putting pressure on my ribs). I also get to have some pretty constant killer pain in my hips. But for a little 1/2 Eddie, 1/2 Bree, I don't mind.